Are You Always Seeking Attention? I’ve Learned There’s A Better Way!

For some time now I’ve known that significance is a very important human need, particularly vital for my personal happiness. I discovered this while studying with Tony Robbins and learning all about the needs of the ego (human) and the needs of the spirit.

I wasn’t really proud of this. In fact, I was maybe even a little ashamed and quiet about it.

And then one day, I was over it.

I was over shame and guilt in any area of my life and I felt a strong desire to celebrate and embrace what I feel when I am recognized. When I opened my heart and accepted this piece of me, I saw all of the beauty as well. The light side of enjoying significance is that I also value and honor acknowledging others. In fact, it’s the reason I only accept 40-50 women in Mentor Masterclass each year. I want them to know they are special and feel an intimate connection with each other and me. It’s important to me they feel seen and heard in the process of becoming a life coach.

Violet loves it, too! I never miss a beat to celebrate her and if you’ve ever seen a baby do something new, you know it’s innately in us to look for acknowledgement.

Now, the shadow side is relying on approval and significance to feel love or to know you are worthy. We all know those people who talk about themselves too much and their need for significance borders narcissism.

I want to honor the value and uniqueness of my human needs and my core values in a healthy way.

There is a way to experience wholeness that does not exist outside of yourself. And I went on a very personal journey to create wholeness in my life.

I’ve learned to celebrate the joy I feel when my husband misses me, my baby snuggles me, and my clients respond to my work in the world by trying a new personal practice with significance.

It’s embracing, embodying, and exploring the divine magnificence that lives within myself and all around me.

But we’re all souls having a human experience, right? And that means we have egos.

Our egos are a mashup of our personal experience, culture, and the collective consciousness of our society.

In today’s flashback favorites episode of Wake Up Wednesday, I’m sharing a beautiful list of ways you can move out of feeling addicted to attention and start living from a space of open-hearted freedom. This is powerful stuff! (Press PLAY on the video below):

Click on the video above and you’ll also learn:

• The four main needs our egos are looking to achieve and fulfill at all times. (Jump to the 55 second mark in the video to learn what they are.)

• Why one of these needs is likely the driving force in your life, and why it’s so important to figure out exactly which one that is. (1:45)

• What drives most coaches and thought leaders I’ve met – I have a feeling you’ll recognize yourself! (2:15)

• The danger that comes up when, like me, significance is your vehicle for fulfillment. (3:20)

• My list of ways I could find magnificence within me and all around me, and now I want to pass the Top 10 onto you (the entire list is below). (4:30)

When you’re finished watching the video above to get grounded in our discussion, take a look at the list in its entirety:

1. Watching nature
2. Feeling the cells of your body and how alive you are
3. Dancing outside, just for you
4. Spending time near water (we are made up almost entirely of water, and connection with bodies of water can help you find your center, and connect to the earth.)
5. Hanging out with people who remind you of your full, expansive, magnetizing potential
6. Watching sand blowing in the wind
7. Feeling sadness, and recognizing your own emotion range
8. Embracing change
9. Witnessing the patterns of the great Mother Earth
10. Remembering that the Universe is your Mother
11. Reveling in the mystery and stories of the goddess, priestess and heroine’s journey
12. Watching a caterpillar become a butterfly
13. Looking for new ways to expand your consciousness
14. Dressing up
15. Studying the divine feminine
16. Creating awareness of the archetype aspects of the self in you as related to all goddesses
17. Choose a new lensing of reality to try on
18. Taking time to separate from the ego mind by focusing on growth and contribution
19. Finding your true nature and soul essence through meditation and reflection
20. Doing things that initiate the essence of femininity
21. Creating a personal relationship with the divine feminine
22. Choosing to completely embrace the present moment
23. Allowing mystical connections in your life, and even asking for them
24. Exploring the wisdom beyond concepts
25. Celebrating the quest for a mature spiritual consciousness
26. Witnessing the pure heart of a child
27. Seeing, feeling, and knowing from different points of view in consciousness and new awareness (become a tree, a bird, a fish, a child, a woman, a man, a grandma…)
28. Trying on a new and unique perspective in a challenging situation
29. Playing with spiritual metamorphosis of my own consciousness
30. Trying nonlinear thinking
31. Seeking a higher truth
32. Remembering to know there is unknown
33. Noticing the vibrational transmission always occurring around you
34. Seeking and honoring truth
35. Allowing deep initiation to inspire you
36. Choosing clear alignment with your essence over the need to perform or receive acknowledgment
37. Seeking guidance for your own unfolding
38. Walking a spiritual path
39. Discovering truth through stillness, silence, mystery
40. Finding the answers from within
41. Trusting your essence
42. Honoring self discovery
43. Initiating a simple curriculum of returning your focus within yourself
44. Finding internal truth
45. Meditating
46. Contemplating
47. Holographic thinking
48. Collective thinking
49. Accepting an ever-changing reality
50. Looking for symbols and new language
51. Studying sacred geometry
52. Harmonic resonance
53. Energy healing
54. Intention
55. Creating temple space
56. Sacred Tools
57. Creating sisterhood in your life

And as always I’d love to hear from you in the comments below: which one of the ideas above resonates with you most? Do you have anything to add to the list? I’d love to hear it!

All my love,

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