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Become An Expert Life Coach Faster: 10 Brilliant (And Slightly Badass) Coaching Questions That Get Beneath The Surface

March 27th, 2018 | no comments

When my daughter Violet turned one, my mission was calling me back into service. I knew big things were coming and I was struggling to find the energy and trust to say YES. So I knew it was time to get intimate and into it with a skilled coach.  

I had 27 (no joke) consultations with coaches before I selected my coach. I know that a good coach has training with the mind, body, NLP, energy healing and business coaching (when working with entrepreneurs). It takes continued devotion to master your craft and become a truly brilliant coach and healer.  

You should never hesitate to get started and to charge for your services while also being real about where you are in your coaching journey. Most coaches struggle with not giving advice, taking over responsibility in sessions, and not knowing the right tools and techniques to use and questions to ask.

You need to know how to ask the right questions and understand the art of asking powerful questions, fearlessly.

The questions my own coach asked me led me to move out of maintenance mode and into empowered planning and servicing. As a result I experienced my best launch ever, created a new healer training I’ll be inviting you to in a few months, and even got back into working out and taking care of my body in a new way.

It was nothing but the questions that led me to these results! Everything I needed was already within me. I paid my amazing coach over $8,000 for 12 sessions and it was truly her skill in asking powerful questions that made it worth EVERY penny. It was the questions she asked me and the way in which she did it that led to an increase in my revenue by over $20,000.

I often talk about Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) coaching techniques that reprogram the mind and encourage new ways of thinking in your clients, just like my coach did for me. I teach NLP coaching, energy healing and mind/body coaching techniques and conversations models to the women who train inside Mentor Masterclass.

Here are 10 powerful questions to ask in your next coaching session:

1. What do you want?

This NLP classic lets clients become investigators. So often clients will come to you knowing what they don’t want, which can be an easier place to start.

It’s easy to get used to reacting to circumstances, so this might be the first time in their lives your clients are deeply considering what they really want. You can also phrase it another way: “What would you like more (or less) of in your life/job/marriage/friendships/health?”

I believe all mastery starts with self-discovery and walking your talk. This really begins with YOU sister. What do you want? When you ask yourself this question in the face of ANY challenge you will start to recognize that you might already know what you need to do.

Think about your life right now. What are you struggling with most? Fighting with your boyfriend? Mad at your best friend? Feeling like your VA is not showing up and doing what you hired her to do? Not sure how much to charge for your coaching services?

I know all I need to do is get you to answer this question and if you can, the path to resolve and successfully eliminate the discomfort of your challenge will be clear.

expert life coach

2. What’s important to you about this?

Life brings us tough decisions where we have to choose between two often-conflicting priorities like family life and work, health and a high-powered job, and more. This question can help you and your clients through these dilemmas by helping to consider the deepest values you live by every day.

Two other great ways to phrase this same question are:

  • What matters to you?

  • What values are you honoring?

When I ask myself these questions my heart feels full and my decisions become easier to make. What matters to me is being a present mom and enjoying life with my daughter and husband. In order to do that I need to feel fulfilled. I value living a life of purpose which includes serving my clients and growing as a thought leader.   

When I pair this question with my answer about what I want, things get even clearer.  I want to be able to experience a rich and deep family life while creating sustainable success and being madly in love with my career.  

What values am I honoring? Well this takes me to next level action. Can you see that I won’t need you to tell me WHAT to do? All I need you to do is ask me this question.

Lately I’ve been very present and devoted to my family and not carving out enough space for creativity and education to grow as a coach.

When you’re struggling with making a decision or you’re feeling conflicted about where to focus your time and energy these two questions could be all that you need to ask.

It’s my devotion to the women I work with inside Mentor Masterclass, to be sure I am always asking them and making sure they are aware of what they REALLY want. We can all get better at being unapologetic and deeply committed to having what we really want. I share this with the women I coach one-on-one and in my signature training program: Mentor Masterclass.

3. How will you know when you’ve got what you want?

When you ask someone what they want, you’ll often get a vague answer. Maybe she wants the man of her dreams, satisfied clients, or more time to herself to relax. Those are amazing things to want- but how will she know when she’s got what she wants?

When you pose this question to your clients, you help them move away from concepts and vague ideas and into measurable results. They’ll be more likely to know when they’ve arrived.

4. What is getting in the way for you?

To truly achieve mastery, your clients will need to get rid of whatever’s getting in their way. Maybe their blocks are external: having the wrong people in their lives, choosing the wrong time, or a lack of resources. It might also be because of internal limiting beliefs.

This question targets the pieces of your client’s life that need to change to clear the path for reaching her goals.

When I know what’s preventing the women in my signature life coach training program Mentor Masterclass from getting what they want, we have an instant action plan. All I have to do is be present, be aware, and ask them.  

What’s preventing you from having a successful coaching business and being able to run it in a feminine way? Our year-long action plan and work begins with this question, the first week you enroll in Mentor Masterclass and we meet in sister circle.  

5. What resources do you have that can support you?

NLP coaching methods often come back to this mantra: “You have all the resources you need to achieve your desired outcome.” Internal resources can come from personal beliefs, memories, values, and more. External resources can include mentors, supportive family and friends, or possessions and money.

Use this question to empower your clients when they’re struggling or relying on you too heavily to solve everything for them. Remind them they already know what to do, even if it’s slipping their mind in this exact moment!

6. When you accomplish your goal and look back on your success, what will you experience?

The first amazing thing you’ll notice about this question is that it treats positive results as a given. It’s not a question of “if” your clients accomplish their goals – it’s “when” they accomplish them. You’re already acting as an encouraging presence in your clients’ lives, while still requiring them to take responsibility. NLP calls this the as-if frame.

Here are some follow-up questions to keep in mind, too:

  • What will accomplishing this goal look like?

  • What will accomplishing this goal sound like?

  • What will accomplishing this goal feel like?

This NLP technique leads us into more energy-driven approaches to goals, like manifesting. Manifestation is all about what thoughts internally are creating your reality. With this question you move out of the brain and into accessing the power of the universe. Once the universe is on your side, success is inevitable.  

7. What’s the question you don’t want to ask yourself right now?

This question is perfect for when you’re feeling a little stuck in a session – it helps both you and your client move forward. You’re giving clients permission to touch on a topic that might be weighing on their minds. If you don’t know what to ask your client, they might actually know what you should be asking. Brilliant, isn’t it?  

You know what I love even more? Asking myself this question when I feel like I’m relying on someone else to save me or tell me what to do. What’s the question I really don’t want to ask MYSELF right now? BAM!

If you’re aware of trusting your intuition, the question will come. The answer to your own question is often the guiding light to move through a block and have the life experience you truly desire and deserve.

8. What’s the way to make this really easy?

When your clients are creating complexity around an issue and forgetting to look for an easier way, this question assumes solving the situation can be simple. You’re nudging them to look for strategies to get themselves focused. You might decide to leave your client to ponder this question for a little while.

I don’t know about you, but I WAY overcomplicate things sometimes. Success does not have to be hard, mama! We’re rewriting that belief in our current culture. Well, I am. I refuse to believe it has to be hard to raise children, make a difference in the world, make a lot of money and be passionately in love with myself and my husband!

This question opens the doors to new ways we may not have seen other leaders walk through in the past. Especially as women seeking a balanced masculine and feminine approach to becoming a successful life coach and thought leader.

9. What’s the first step?

The best coaching sessions end with an action step – and it can be a question! That first step is often the most difficult for your clients because it acknowledges the challenge and ownership of responsibility. NLP techniques teach us that the first step moves us from the present state to the desired state, moving us toward the goal and leaving procrastination behind.

Another way I like to frame this question is referencing the alphabet. Yep! If your journey to fully achieving this goal is A-Z, what does JUST A to B look like?

10. And what else?

This question sounds simple, so you might be stunned by how powerful it is! It’s giving your clients space to think outside of the immediate issue and cover something that didn’t come up in the session. So often the issues our clients want to work on aren’t the real issues, and this question allows space to figure out what might be really going on.

You can add this question after any of the above questions to help delve deeper into the really good and transformational stuff with your clients!

expert life coach

Oh, and don’t forget. You’ve got to try these questions on yourself first! And as Maui would say in the movie Moana: “You’re welcome!”

(Can you tell I spend a lot of time watching Disney movies with my daughter?)

This week, practice these 10 questions on yourself first and notice what shifts. The true way to mastery is to first focus on self-discovery. As a leader, before taking these skills to family and friends you need to have a personal relationship and experience with them!  Only then you you see how it feels to unleash the power of these questions while holding space for a client to move through the process and dive deeper into someone’s true intentions and desires.

In the comments below, let me know what you’re feeling after reading this. I love hearing from and connecting with you intimately!

Are you loving these 10 powerful questions? We’re just getting started!

Inside my all-in life coaching program, Mentor Masterclass, we learn 358 masterful coaching techniques. I curate the content in a way that creates ease, flow, natural memorization, confidence and mastery. Learn more about Mentor Masterclass, how we achieve success, and how to apply here.

Women in Mentor Masterclass sell out their services because their training and master coaching create reputations that both attract attention and trust. I believe in a feminine approach to creating time and financial freedom that involves high-touch mentorship and intimate coaching. Self-care and healing first leads to success as a thought leader who serves others.

Sign up for the free Self-Discovery Week to begin your self-healing and coaching mastery practice today.

All my love,

Jey
 

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