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Become An Expert Life Coach Faster: 5 Brilliant (And Slightly Badass) Coaching Questions That Get Beneath The Surface

March 20th, 2018 | 4 comments

During my own coach training, I learned the art of asking the right questions in coaching sessions. It was so powerful it made me believe I could become my own boss, go from living paycheck to paycheck to $10,000 a month and discover the secret to coaching mastery within my first year of working with one-one-one with clients.  

…and this all happened for me! But not without tons of trial and error along the way.

In early sessions with clients I struggled to get them to talk about more than surface-level challenges and to follow through with commitments between our sessions that would get them results.  

But I soon learned that asking the right questions is the KEY to successful coaching. I went from scratching the surface to delving deep into the hearts and minds of my clients. I tried approaching questions a hundred different ways to create refined questions that work with simple, profound and fierce efficiency.  

I often talk about Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) coaching techniques that reprogram the mind and encourage new ways of thinking in your clients. And today I’m sharing 5 questions that will help you do just that!

1. What do you want?

This NLP classic lets clients become investigators. So often clients will come to you knowing what they don’t want, which can be an easier place to start.

It’s easy to get used to reacting to circumstances, so this might be the first time in their lives your clients are deeply considering what they really want. You can also phrase it another way: “What would you like more (or less) of in your life/job/marriage/friendships/health?”

I believe all mastery starts with self-discovery and walking your talk. This really begins with YOU sister. What do you want? When you ask yourself this question in the face of ANY challenge you will start to recognize that you might already know what you need to do.

Think about your life right now. What are you struggling with most? Fighting with your boyfriend? Mad at your best friend? Feeling like your VA is not showing up and doing what you hired her to do? Not sure how much to charge for your coaching services?

I know all I need to do is get you to answer this question and if you can, the path to resolve and successfully eliminate the discomfort of your challenge will be clear.

2. What’s important to you about this?

Life brings us tough decisions where we have to choose between two often-conflicting priorities like family life and work, health and a high-powered job, and more. This question can help you and your clients through these dilemmas by helping to consider the deepest values you live by every day.

Two other great ways to phrase this same question are:

  • What matters to you?

  • What values are you honoring?

When I ask myself these questions my heart feels full and my decisions become easier to make. What matters to me is being a present mom and enjoying life with my daughter and husband. In order to do that I need to feel fulfilled. I value living a life of purpose which includes serving my clients and growing as a thought leader.   

When I pair this question with my answer about what I want, things get even clearer.  I want to be able to experience a rich and deep family life while creating sustainable success and being madly in love with my career.  

What values am I honoring? Well this takes me to next level action. Can you see that I won’t need you to tell me WHAT to do? All I need you to do is ask me this question.

Lately I’ve been very present and devoted to my family and not carving out enough space for creativity and education to grow as a coach.

When you’re struggling with making a decision or you’re feeling conflicted about where to focus your time and energy these two questions could be all that you need to ask.

It’s my devotion to the women I work with inside Mentor Masterclass, to be sure I am always asking them and making sure they are aware of what they REALLY want. We can all get better at being unapologetic and deeply committed to having what we really want. I share this with the women I coach one-on-one and in my signature training program: Mentor Masterclass.

3. How will you know when you’ve got what you want?

When you ask someone what they want, you’ll often get a vague answer. Maybe she wants the man of her dreams, satisfied clients, or more time to herself to relax. Those are amazing things to want- but how will she know when she’s got what she wants?

When you pose this question to your clients, you help them move away from concepts and vague ideas and into measurable results. They’ll be more likely to know when they’ve arrived.

4. What is getting in the way for you?

To truly achieve mastery, your clients will need to get rid of whatever’s getting in their way. Maybe their blocks are external: having the wrong people in their lives, choosing the wrong time, or a lack of resources. It might also be because of internal limiting beliefs.

This question targets the pieces of your client’s life that need to change to clear the path for reaching her goals.

When I know what’s preventing the women in my signature life coach training program Mentor Masterclass from getting what they want, we have an instant action plan. All I have to do is be present, be aware, and ask them.  

What’s preventing you from having a successful coaching business and being able to run it in a feminine way? Our year-long action plan and work begins with this question, the first week you enroll in Mentor Masterclass and we meet in sister circle.  

5. What resources do you have that can support you?

NLP coaching methods often come back to this mantra: “You have all the resources you need to achieve your desired outcome.” Internal resources can come from personal beliefs, memories, values, and more. External resources can include mentors, supportive family and friends, or possessions and money.

Use this question to empower your clients when they’re struggling or relying on you too heavily to solve everything for them. Remind them they already know what to do, even if it’s slipping their mind in this exact moment!

This week, practice these 5 questions on yourself first and notice what shifts. The true way to mastery is to first focus on self-discovery. As a leader, before taking these skills to family and friends you need to have a personal relationship and experience with them! Only then can you see how it feels to unleash the power of these questions while holding space for a client to move through the process and dive deeper into someone’s true intentions and desires.

In the comments below, let me know what you’re feeling after reading this. I love hearing from and connecting with you intimately!

We’ll meet up here next week, where I’ll share the final 5 NLP questions to unlock incredible insights and clarity for you and your clients.

Remember: these 5 powerful questions are just the beginning.

Inside my all-in life coaching program, Mentor Masterclass, we learn 358 masterful coaching techniques. I curate the content in a way that creates ease, flow, natural memorization, confidence and mastery. Learn more about Mentor Masterclass, how we achieve success, and how to apply here.

Women in Mentor Masterclass sell out their services because their training and master coaching create reputations that attract both attention and trust. I believe in a feminine approach to creating time and financial freedom that involves high-touch mentorship and intimate coaching. Self-care and healing first leads to success as a thought leader who serves others.

Sign up for the free Self-Discovery Week to begin your self healing and coaching mastery practice today and to get a taste of what it would be like to receive my direct support and mentoring in building the life coach practice of your dreams.

P.S. Want more brilliant coaching questions? Click here for the next five.

All my love,

Jey
 

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4 people have commented
  1. These are such good questions to keep in my back pocket, both for myself and for others. It is so easy to get on a bandwagon with others telling you what you want. If it is not true to your soul, it is not true to your soul. Feeling that inner coherence is what is important and valuable.

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