How To Be Authentic WITHOUT Oversharing: 2 Rules That Work Every Time.
Today’s Q&A edition of Wake Up Wednesday features a question from yet another amazing sister from our tribe: Gabby Bogan, an amazing Lifestyle Designer & Mindset Coach.
Gabby asks:
“As a coach, how can I use my story to relate to my potential clients in a way that feels really authentic?”
Great question, Gabby! And it’s one that I get a lot, and that I’ve been thinking through myself a lot as a new mom.
For instance: last week in my email newsletter to my tribe, I shared a picture that included my boob! But I did it because every time I look down at my daughter during that special time of connection and bonding, I feel more emotion than I do in any other part of my day. I knew new mommies would understand how special that is, and I trusted my tribe enough to be vulnerable.
I also knew it would really connect me to the women who were reading and walking beside me in community. And your tribe will feel good knowing you trust them enough to share the intimate details of your life, too!
But nobody wants to overshare, or seem like a hot mess when they’re trying to create deeper connections with their followers and supporters.
So, in today’s video I’ve got my 2 tried-and-true ways to help you navigate this very fine line. They work every time, and haven’t failed me yet.
Click play and watch the episode now where I lay it all out for you.
First, let’s talk about why authentic sharing with your tribe is so important.
If you hung out with me this past summer here on Wake Up Wednesday, you’ll remember that back in August we had a very special video series where I set aside the filming crew, pro hair and makeup. I just switched on my webcam, sat down, and got real with you. I shared what was on my mind and in my heart.
The response was off the charts! There was so much love, positive energy, and so many breakthroughs in the comments each week.
I learned firsthand that people are craving quality connection and are searching for authenticity. Most women are activated by this power of raw truth.
It’s why we pick up magazines full of celebrity baby pictures and plenty of juicy break-up details (yep, I do it too)! We wanna know that no matter how successful someone might seem, deep down they’re just like us. They have problems, but they know how to get shit done and create fabulous lives!
And we want to know the secrets. The real, raw how-did-you-actually-do-it kind of info.
As a coach and a thought leader, you already know your tribe needs this kind of connection with you! So why does sharing with our followers and supporters make us feel so uncomfortable sometimes?
Well, the goal of an authentic share is to inspire your tribe.
It’s a huge role you’re playing in their lives! And it’s probably always gonna feel uneasy for you. In fact, the more terrified you are to click that “send” button on that email and make yourself vulnerable, the more energy and awareness it’s probably going to bring to the people reading it.
It’s a big responsibility when people look up to you. We need to be honest with them! And there’s an art to doing it in a way that has them feeling empowered and inspired by you, rather then feeling bad for you or worrying that you’re too much of a mess to even be in a position to lead.
So when it comes to sharing your personal story, where’s the line between being a “hot mess” and being authentic?
Authenticity means sharing what is real and important to you, so the answer will look a little different for everyone. But I’ve got two tips that’ll keep you on the right track as you delve into this part of your journey.
There is a BIG reason not to do this, and I explain it in the episode (click play above!).
Intention is everything when it comes to coaching, and today I reveal why. After watching today’s episode, it’s time to get out there and share authentically! Go forth! Shine your light and inspire your tribe.
If you’ve got a story to share that’s not from the mess and it’s inspired by good intentions, I’d love for you to share it in the comments below!
What a perfect place to practice sharing your story authentically, rather than continuing to live in silence. Your story just might reach someone reading this blog and turn her into a new loyal member of your tribe!
Tell us a specific, authentic story of a struggle in your life. How did you overcome it? And how did it make you who are you today?
Can’t wait to connect authentically with you in the comments!
xoxo,
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Thank you for engaging in a wonderful convo around authentic expression! When I feel “the light” in that shadow time or trusting of the anchor that pulls me out of a tough experience, that’s when I feel I have gold to share and shine a spotlight on. This was a great reminder!
Tara I love the visuals you create. This one resonates with me deeply!
Jey
Great video and reminder for us all!! Thank you, Jeannine and Gabby for bringing this to light. In terms of a time when I had something vulnerable to share with my tribe, I am actually thinking of something I desire to share this upcoming week. Using your two tried-and-true rules (almost as tricky to type as it is to say!), I’m moving out of the mess of it (and am already gathering the lessons and blessings from the experience as I share this now, though it’s still pretty fresh) and feeling into my intention for sharing it with my audience. The crux of it is that I had some deep wounds ripped wide open recently—wounds of jealousy, fear of abandonment, and fear of not being enough in my relationship. The key learnings from this (so far) are that even when I experience gut-wrenching jealousy or feelings of fear in my Being, I’m still okay. It doesn’t kill me to feel it or be with it. I am also reminded that it’s not about getting to a place where I have no more “shadow” qualities or experiences but rather it’s getting to a point of embracing ALL of me and my experience, and not judging it as “light,” “dark,” “good,” or “bad”—but rather, just is. If I want to live a life that is awake and present, then I get to experience the FULL RANGE of emotions—and it’s all okay. I expect there might be more learnings that come out of this experience as I get even more space from it. In the meantime, this is a great practice to feel into why I might share this with my tribe—to remind them that it’s not about being “all Light” or “spiritually pure”—it’s about feeling all of it, embracing all parts of ourselves, and remembering that at the end of the day, we always have been and always will be okay. Thank you for this opportunity to share <3
Amanda this line really speaks to me when I think about moments in my life where I have felt what you are describing. Particularly after a trip I took to Peru a couple years ago ;).
“I expect there might be more learnings that come out of this experience as I get even more space from it.”
This was absolutely true for me and I realized that while I was raw and broken open the lessons I thought I was learning was just the tip of the iceberg. The way I talked about it then was confusing, hard to follow and deeply emotional. Now I have clear words, grounded understanding and a deep connected understanding of what it was that had shifted in me and why. It took me two years! And to be honest it is still unfolding and I’m learning more about what I discovered in that moment of journey in my life with. It is a choice for sure weather you desire to share now what is real. I think the question of “What is my intention for sharing?” will be so helpful. I would add is this something I want to share with my close tribe for support or is this something I am sharing in my business to better serve my clients? I look back on some of my open shares and realize that I was just processing for myself and even now reading it I can’t quite follow. Those kinds of posts I see now do not really serve my clients or tribe. This journey is so beautiful and so deep sister. Witnessing you in your breaking open and loving watching you soar in the freedom you are creating!
Jey
I recently shared a personal story of mine that was heavy and dark – and far from my past. I got a lot of great feedback from that sharing! I know you didn’t mean we would have to wait years to share something authentic, but I did find that my share benefitted from the points you bring up here in this video. I was able not only to share the deep, the dark and the ugly, but also the light, the transformation and the lessons that carried me to where I am today. (You can read about my deep dark share here: http://apaleoyogi.com/2015/10/08/i-used-to-hate-my-body/)
What helps me in your video today is the reminder to get clear on the intention of my shares. I am all about being vulnerable and I share my story regularly, but what I don’t always do is get clear on WHY I am doing it and what I can offer my followers as inspiration out of my story.
Thanks Jey!
Christine this was a beautiful and breathtaking post. Thank you for sharing it here sister. I am curious. What was your intention with this one?
This is certainly true…one has to be authentic when sharing about one’s life experiences and one has to be out of that emotional state and have hi/her feet firmly on the ground before sharing it as a lesson for others. Great!