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How to be More YOU Onstage, in Your Next Live Workshop or Teleseminar

October 21st, 2015 | 2 comments

Have you ever had difficulty just being yourself onstage? It happens to everyone at some point – there’s a ton of fear that comes with putting yourself out there in such a big way.

When I gave birth to my daughter Violet just a couple of weeks ago, the experience of being in labor for four days, reminded me how good it can feel to truly be yourself.

I had no choice but to be unapologetically, authentically myself so I could get through all of the pain, excitement, and decisions that come with childbirth. Sometimes I screamed, other times I cried, and sometimes I just stayed quiet. It didn’t matter which doctors, nurses or visitors were around.

It all came from a very primal place, whether I liked it or not! And yep, I absolutely learned that labor is as painful as they say. But giving myself permission to do what I needed to do, to be authentically myself, felt amazing.

Sister, there’s something so powerful that you create in other people and in the world when you give yourself permission to just be yourself!

And as a coach, there’s nothing I love more than watching my clients and sisters come out of their shells to totally captivate an audience with their message.

And yet, time and time again, I see awesome thought leaders stumble into the same road block:

They believe that in order to captivate onstage, they need to be someone else, or exaggerate something in their personality, in order to make an impact.

They tell themselves they need to be more beautiful. More charming in their tone of voice. More extroverted. More confident. More of a warrior.

But you know what? You don’t have to be more of anything.

You just have to be you.

I’ll show you how when you click play to watch today’s episode.


Believe me, trying to force something onstage always does more harm than good.

Transparency and vulnerability will win hearts every time.

Now, let’s discuss the fear that keeps so many speakers stuck when they’re starting out.

Where does it come from? What makes us decide “I’m not good enough for these people to listen to me?”

It’s usually because we’re convinced that the audience is waiting for us to fail. But that’s not the case at all.

The truth is, audiences are gracious! They want to love you!  They have come to be inspired by you, to celebrate you, and life. I’ll explain more when you click play on today’s show.

Audiences also pick up on sincerity and openness – so authentic communication is an absolute MUST if you want to get your ideas across to the wonderful people waiting to hear what you have to say.

Let’s dive a little deeper into this idea.

Here are some of the most powerful strategies I teach my clients, to help them be more of themselves onstage:

Strategy #1: Use your nerves

Nothing is more powerful than revealing to the audience that you’re nervous. So many people can relate! And this kind of confession makes you seem more human, like someone they personally know and can relate to.

But, if it doesn’t feel right to tell your listeners about those butterflies in your belly, use that adrenaline to boost your energy, so you feel extra alive instead. Make your nerves your power source.

Strategy #2: Be Real, not spoke-sy

Consider this: if you were to call you best friend and speak the way you plan to speak on stage… would she think you were an alien?  

Is the answer yes?

That doesn’t mean you’re any less brilliant! It just means you have to switch up the way you’re coming across. Loosen up. Be a little more natural. And don’t hesitate to talk like yourself.

Be yourself. Express your ideas as you would to your closest friend.

Strategy #3:  Never say “I want you to….”

Here’s a mistake I see countless coaches make: they turn their talks into a list of orders and demands that their audience needs to meet.

People are coming to your gig to be inspired, not to get a new to-do list!

Focus on sparking their imagination and motivation through story and invitation – but never bark orders at them.

Paint a picture of the way it was or is and the way it could be.  Then, share the actions they can take to get to the ideal space, and invite them to decide how they want to respond to your invitation.

Strategy #4: Don’t play small and meek (the audience will know and respond with mistrust.)

You are the universe in ecstatic motion! You are made of stardust, billion-year-old carbon! So don’t pretend you’re insignificant and unimportant. You’re more powerful than you can ever imagine.

The stage is a space to remind us all that we are powerful, and every single one of us knows this, somewhere deep inside of us.  Embrace it.

And besides – there’s nothing more irksome than a woman invited to be in an inspirational role coming across as totally defeated and meek onstage.

Strategy #5: Own all of your brilliance and shine bright on stage!

Authenticity means claiming who you are. It means stepping fully into your message, instead of hiding behind a veil of “I’m not good enough,” or “No one wants to hear what I have to say.”

We do. I do. There’s a whole planet full of people who need you, who want to hear what you have to say.

Remember:

There’s something about you and your unique story that’s made you who you are.  And we need to hear it.

Be willing to share that with the audience. Let your emotions show.  If you are an introvert? Be an introvert. Are you loud and expressive? Let ‘er rip! Is there a specific experience that changed your life, and could change the lives of your listeners, too? Don’t be too shy to share it.

Whatever you’re feeling, let it out on stage.  Everyone loves an invitation to be real and present, and express our emotions!

When we allow ourselves to be truly open, we invite audiences into our worlds, which empowers them to connect with us deeply….

And, most fabulously of all, it helps create real, raving fans who relate to you on a deep, soulful level.

Now, wonderful sisters, I want to hear from you in the comment section below.

Or you can always join us in the Wake Up Wednesday Sisterhood group where the real conversation is booming.

The last time you had an opportunity to be in a leadership role, did you forget to honor one of the above strategies? If so, what was the result and how do you see it going differently the next time?

Let’s not forget your free gift in today’s email about the blog!

I included a link to one of my favorite commencement speeches that really embodies all of this from a man who has made a career out of being his kooky self!  You’ll love it!

I give gifts in the form of downloadables, detailed resources and personal success secrets almost every week to those of you who subscribe and join my email list.  And since I’m a brand new mother, I also include baby pictures and slices of life with my new little girl.  I’d love to share this with you, sister!  

I’d love to share this with you!  If you are not on my email list, make sure you type in your name and email into the box below to subscribe.

Until next week, stardust.

xo

Jey
 

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2 people have commented
  1. I used to be so afraid to be on stage! I joined Toastmasters with a friend and it was all about how to calm my nerves. But the more I figured out how to be myself, the more those nerves have faded. I say practice, and relax! Now that I am more confident in myself, I am even more authentic with my groups, and we have more fun together.

    • Christine I admire the way you pursue the resources that will help you become more of yourself. It’s that very trait in you that allows you to up level so rapidly and become more of yourself. Practice and relax, you speak the truth sister. It’s such an honor to get to work with you in Mentor Masterclass!

      Jey

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