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A Heartbreaking Story I was Scared to Share: Learn to Tell YOUR Truth

August 12th, 2015 | 17 comments

If you want to truly step into thought leadership that can change people’s lives, you have to learn to tell your story, authentically.

But did you know that the story of your life might be real, but is not actually true?

See what I mean in today’s special episode of Wake Up Wednesday!

Can you believe this is the final video in our very special four-part video series?

And just as you’ve come to expect, in today’s video I don’t use camera crews, fancy lighting, or pro hair and makeup. Instead it’s just you and me. We’ve committed to talking about what’s real in our lives and getting raw and vulnerable in the blog comments below. Don’t leave without letting me know you’re here and saying what’s at heart for you.

So far in this series we’ve covered babies and business, balancing masculine and feminine energies, and my go-to resources for overcoming anxiety and overwhlem. (And if you wanna catch up, just click the links to catch up on the full series.)

In today’s episode, I talk about the healing power of telling your story.

When you have the space to get real and tell the stories that are true in your life, it has healing powers for you, your clients, your friends and family, and even your mentors.

Lately, I’ve been immersed in the writing process and spending time thinking about what’s real for me in my life right now. How am I doing with telling my story? Well, I get real with you in today’s episode (push play and be sure to watch it all the way through).

When it comes to telling my own story, sometimes there’s a trigger for me when it comes to my family. I’ve been thinking about how we often find ourselves keeping secrets for other people. What I mean is we let people treat us poorly, say unbearable things and act like total assholes. They don’t treat other people like this but because we hold the space for it, they show up this way. And then we are nervous to share the truth about how these people affect us and what this causes in our lives behind-the-scenes because we are keeping this secret FOR THEM. I’ve noticed this pattern with my close friends and with my parents. And I’m OVER it.

How can we tell our stories when they involve other people? It can be so hard. We want to honor them while also learning to thrive and live our own truth. So we can release, surrender and heal.

But how? That’s what today’s video is all about.

As I’ve been sharing my truth over these last few videos, my intention has been for you to share your truth with me and with our sisters in the comments below. I know most of you are stepping into a role of a leader. And when you do that, you encourage that ripple effect to broaden with your own tribe–your own biggest fans. So keep leaning in, open your heart and share your truth below.

When you watch today’s episode, you’ll learn the core lesson on how not to speak from a place of trigger, but to instead be intentional about the stories that you tell. You’ll learn how releasing our truth in a way that serves us and others is possible even when our stories are heartbreaking.

In today’s episode, we make the conscious decision not to speak from our pain bodies.

When I say “pain body”– what do I mean?

It’s our ego! When we talk about the challenges that we’ve faced, the pain gets stored up in these bodies that we have and that becomes our ego.

The tricky part? These pain points aren’t the core truth! In fact the more we look back and recall them, the more untrue and distorted the story becomes.

When we experienced those stories, we were different people. We made decisions and reflections that weren’t accurate and don’t reflect who we are now. They don’t reflect who we’re becoming either.

There’s more to us than these bodies we walk around in. There’s a soul, and our bodies are the containers. And our stories are real, but they’re not the truth.

For many of us, our stories started before we were born and began to shape us early on. They started with our families. For many of us in thought leadership, there are painful stories we need to face, that are important to share as they exist in others.

As empaths, we take on other people’s feelings and reflect without regard for ourselves. We take on the stories of our parents and families, and fall into suffering obligations of love. (At the 8:29 point in today’s video, I’ll explain three suffering obligations we can easily fall into with our families if we don’t watch out!)

Let’s start to tell our story authentically. Let’s find the courage to use a new moral compass and take 100% responsibility for who we are, and what we need to show up in the world. That’s how you’ll find your soul essence.

And from there, true leaders are born!

When we get out there and start to tell our stories, we can begin to see how our egos attach to these stories, but also how they aren’t the truth and they don’t belong to us. When we become familiar with telling our stories, they release their hold on us! We’ll become magnetic inspirations for other people.

People will want to be around you because you’ll help them sense their own soul essence, just by being who you are.

If you’re an empath, it’s easy to take on other people’s troubles and pain. At 13:24 in this week’s video, I go into detail about the dangers of letting that happen, the things they might blame on you, and what triggers can easily pop up if you don’t set boundaries, and continue to hold onto pain for other people…because it’s pain that doesn’t belong to you.

You are a coach and a thought leader. You want to go for your dreams and not be diminished by stories of who you are that don’t serve you.

This is why I write the Captivate performance every year. It’s a platform to get onstage to tell these stories. Last year was the first time I ever shared the truth about my family and who they were before I even came into the world. I also told my story of growing up with drug-addicted parents.

For the first time ever, I’ll share with you the full audio of my part at last year’s Captivate performance. The craziest part? My painful story was all about my parents…but I didn’t know my dad was going to come! You’ll even hear him respond out loud to what I was saying in my performance in the audio…it was completely unplanned, and live in front of the entire audience!

Listen to this example of how to step out of your fear and share your story. It includes a songs, monologues, and a full audience. Until now, only the live audience from that night has heard it.

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And I’m performing again at this year’s Captivate performance on August 20, 2015 at 1:00 pm just outside New York City.

Come join us and get a feel for how women share their stories.

A united circle of soul sisters, wellness goddesses, femmeprenuers, and confident leaders will join me for the performance. They’re committed to being be open, raw, vulnerable, and revealing their truth through original performance art.

It’s a Broadway-style performance and a new paradigm of expression designed to inspire us each to expand our soul and ultimately our ability to speak the deepest and purest truth. Expect to see a new and unexpected edge revealed from some of the most powerful spiritual leaders and entrepreneurs you love to love. Get ready to be transformed through rituals, talent, and a whole lot of truth!

It’s about recognizing how the identity changes most of us face as women affect our human experience from a soul level. It’s about sharing our most vulnerable stories of the most divinely orchestrated intent. And it’s about remembering that through sisterhood and community we can truly handle anything.

So if there’s a story you need to tell or a truth you’ve never shared before, come learn what it means to share — not from a place of trigger or a place of pain, fear of judgment or desire for attention. Instead, learn how to share your truth and find your own soul essence. This is how you change the way you lead and the way you live.

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Let the Captivate Performance become a part of your annual ritual — it’s part of mine. It’s a place we can devote ourselves to living out loud, releasing the suffering obligations of love and learning to tell our stories with intention and leadership.

Getting out from behind the laptop and meeting other soul-sisters and thought leaders in person is a huge part of growth and leadership. Immerse yourself in creativity, inspiration, transformation, and sisterhood (WITHOUT the stuffy networking or preach-y speakers). Come spend the afternoon meeting women like you who want to grow, tell their stories and change not just themselves, but the lives of the women in their tribes.

Prepare yourself for room-rocking belly laughs, heart opening revelations and soul essence entertainment.

Do you live in the NYC area, love to visit, or know another soul sister who does? The Fairfield Theatre Company is an easy and direct train ride from NYC Grand Central Station. Take the Metro North New Haven Line to the Fairfield Stop, and you’ll find the theater in the same parking lot as the train.

Buy your tickets while they’re still available! When the curtain rises, I’d love to see you there.

Now I’d love to hear from YOU in the comments below

Are you coming to the Captivate Performance? What are you most looking forward to?

If you can’t make it, what will you be up to instead?

And, in the spirit of the sisterhood, would you share your best insights and experiences as a thought leader about how to share our stories?

Will you send us positive vibes? I’d love to hear from you!

I’ll meet you in the comments (and hopefully at the LIVE show)!

Jey
 

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17 people have commented
  1. Jey, this is such a beautiful and inspiring share. Thank you. It rings many bells in here and definitely inspires me to keep my work, inside and outside in the world. Love you!

  2. Jey! Thank you so much for sharing your captivate performance from last year. What a voice, and what a story! So proud of you and touched by you. I INTEND 🙂 to be at this years show- am currently in colorado (though i live new york city), so am working out timing and travel plans. I am in the midst of clarifying the structure for a creative performace of my personal and ancestral story- so resonate so much with your video. And went to a family constellation workshop the day before i left nyc!!!

  3. How I just adore you, Jey!! I’m back (after missing last week while completely disconnected while on vacation)! This is such a wonderful way to put a cap on this 4-part series and left me with chills multiple times. As I listened to you, it became so clear (and even now brings tears to my eyes as I write this) that there is more truth for me to share in a way that serves me and others. I like to think of myself as authentic and vulnerable (and I think I am in many ways), but this video (and I’m sure your audio from last year once I listen to it!) shines a light on those areas that I’m not yet exposing or sharing with the world. I’m so excited to think about and set an intention for what this is for me exactly and then share it. And it couldn’t have come at a better time as I was (literally) just getting ready to record next week’s Thoughtful Thursday and was thinking of sharing my story (per Nisha Moodley’s suggestion in your interview with her) and now I have a whole new way to approach it. Thank you, love! And I am so looking forward to seeing your current story next week!! <3

    • Amanda I feel so grateful to be on this journey with you sister. I am witnessing you really figuring out what you want to share and how deep you want to go. Every step along this bath I feel more connected to you as you express who you are and I witness you pulling your sisters and loved ones closer and closer. Adore you so much!

      Jey

  4. Jey, what an amazing post. I especially love that you were able to acknowledge that something is triggering you right now, and then set that aside so you could come from a place of intention. What a great thing to see.

    And thank you so much for sharing your story – in both ways! Your Captivate performance was a beautiful testament to the power of transparent authenticity. Love it – and you!

  5. Wow Jey this was so much Beauty in this share. Thank you for giving us the gift of this. And thank you for being such a leader for all of us. Sharing ourselves vulnerably like this is one of the most difficult things, and you always do it with such grace and beauty.

    I cannot wait to listen to the audio of last years show. Thank you so much for sharing this! Excited for this years Captivate Retreat!!
    Love you,
    Cara

  6. Wow Jey, this was very impactful for me. One of the things I loved the most is your ability to take “heavy” topics and bring laughter and play to them. We can all share our stories and bring the light to them that they deserve! This gets me excited to share my story more full out, no need to hide myself anymore : ))
    Lots of Love,
    Kristina

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