Do You Try to Control Life, Like I Do? There’s a Better Way
Can I tell you something? I like to control things in my life!
It gives me a (false) sense of safety and comfort.
When fall rolls around, though, I’m always reminded of how important it is to simply trust the natural rhythms and seasons of life. Something about this crisp new season forces me — and so many of my clients — to remember that surrendering can actually bring even better results.
My husband Brent and I were so excited when we found out our daughter was due during the Autumn Equinox in 2019.
I jumped into reading all about the spiritual meaning and found so many beautiful synchronicities around how she was conceived — what was happening in my life at the time, and what her birth signified for us.
Did you know the Autumn Equinox is an embracing of the equal parts light and dark, and it also marks the time of year when the nights become longer than the days as we slowly move toward winter?
It’s a time to respect and appreciate the darkness because it’s necessary for growth — and this is exactly what my daughter’s conception meant to me. She was conceived the same week my mother died, in the winter of 2018.
This was a time of me coming into all these synchronistic invitations to get more comfortable with the darkness. This past November, I sat in a priestess sister circle training where we worked with the queen of death archetype. In the past I’d been so resistant, so scared of these kinds of explorations.
I lean towards lighter things, like the playful creativity of a Muse type archetype and the sensual teachings of the goddess of love — and I was accepting the invitation to become comfortable with loss, change, and darker energies and frequencies at this time in my life.
I’d also explored this darkness in my relationship with my husband and our therapist — I got more comfortable with the darker sides of our relationship, understanding that darkness and winter can be powerful. It helped us feel strong and nourished by all the different challenges we were facing together.
Conceiving our daughter the same week my mother died wasn’t the way I wanted to be pregnant at all. I didn’t want to have a baby inside my body during a time of feeling so much sadness and grief. It turned out to be yet another invitation for me to understand that grief and heaviness doesn’t have to be negative at all.
I came to fully believe my daughter chose to come into my womb during that time, and it would be beautiful and beneficial for her soul path.
The Autumn Equinox is about bringing balance into our lives, taking ownership of the direction we’re headed, and appreciating and respecting darkness. It felt so representative of who our daughter was when she came into the world, and who I was called to be as her mother.
It’s about being grateful for the depth and challenge of winter that’s on its way…
And so we decided to name her Autumn.
When Autumn’s labor came, it was time for me to learn more powerful lessons. I had a very slow labor, with the contractions coming in and out at high intensity levels for over a week. The Autumn Equinox came and went that year… and she hadn’t been born.
I felt sad she wasn’t coming on her due date, considering all the meaning I’d attached to it. But it was actually better than I could’ve planned! What I really wanted most was an easy, graceful birth experience — not intense and stressful like it had been with our older daughter, Violet.
Autumn’s labor turned out to be slow, with manageable contractions each day. It was really graceful! I was able to stay home until I was 6 centimeters dilated. I had no idea when we got to the hospital that I was that far along. I pushed for 40 minutes and she arrived, all on her own time.
It turned out, none of it had to happen in alignment with my timing, at all — and it was perfect.
I’m excited to share these powerful lessons about surrender, divine timing and having a healthier relationship to control with you during our upcoming Autumn Equinox Virtual Sisterhood Retreat. It’s on Sunday, September 27 from 3:00 – 5:30 PM EST.
Admission to this virtual retreat would normally cost $159 — but right now this retreat is completely free with your Heartwork Collective® trial membership…
When you start your free trial to the Heartwork Collective® now, you won’t be charged until October 5th. Until then you can enjoy your trial membership and grow yourself, your business, and your impact — as you meet the challenge of change with personal healing and heart-centered strategy. You can cancel your trial anytime!
I hope you’ll join this sisterhood full of powerful step-by-step tools and practices, rejuvenating retreats, and nourishing (virtual) sacred circle events.
During our retreat, I’ll share wisdom to help us all move through our unconscious relationship to time, and our need to control things. We’ll lean into and surrender to the natural rhythm of life with grace and ease — aligning with the powerful truth that even in these strange times, the life that’s unfolding is ultimately wiser and more brilliant than anything that we had planned.
During our live (virtual) retreat, you’ll:
Play with the cycles, seasons and feminine archetypes associated with this transformative time of year
Connect deeply with our surprise guest teacher (as you may know I love surprises — and you’ll love her!)
Welcome in the sisterhood collaboration and intimate connection that have unfortunately fallen by the wayside during these times of quarantine for so many of us
Move through a physical transformational experience through either embody dance or breathwork — as always, I’ll discern what’s most emergent within our group at that exact moment
No matter what you discover about the meaning of this season for you, we’ll move through it all together…. As you experience what it’s like to be a Heartwork Collective® member!
I. Can. Not. Wait.
P.S. Admission to the Autumn Equinox virtual retreat would normally cost $159 — but right now it’s completely free with your no-strings-attached Heartwork Collective® trial membership.
Set aside two and a half hours and join us on this virtual retreat.
P.P.S. And one more photo just because I can’t help but share the cuteness!
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