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Ep. 21: 5 Steps for Working Through Conflicts in Your Relationship (And Why It’s Essential For Growing Your Business!)

September 10th, 2019 | no comments

Today on our walk, we’re talking all about our romantic relationships.

After so many years of coaching and mentoring, I’ve learned I can’t actually help women achieve their full potential unless they’re feeling fully grounded in their relationships and partnerships.

It’s a bold statement, right? Our relationships are so central to who we are, though, that it actually makes perfect sense.

My relationship with my husband Brent has impacted my business in so many ways — some are completely positive, and other issues require an open heart and devotion.

For example, I believe it’s so important to be open and honest publicly. Sharing deeper insights into your life and relationships is essential because it pulls the veil away from “secret” issues that exist in families and behind the scenes. Instead of suffering in silence, sharing what’s really on my mind can help others realize they’re not alone and find the resources to change unhealthy circumstances. And so I share aspects of my life that many people consider private, from how much money I make to my personal experience of grief and trauma.

Brent, on the other hand, values his privacy. He believes in NOT telling everyone personal things and can get really upset when he feels that his business is out there in the world. He sees risk in sharing your financial circumstances and deeper family issues with people we don’t know.  

And so we’ve had to come up with a way to accept each other and love each other for these differences. We came up with a plan to do better. When it comes to our marriage, there are guidelines we now have in place to make him feel more comfortable, and we decide TOGETHER what I can share specifically about our relationship…

We arrived at that compromise by going to a couples workshop together in NYC, accepting each other, looking deeper into where our triggers come from, all while still owning we have different values that will probably never change.

This is one example of a gridlock problem you may experience when in a committed partnership. You know that stupid thing you keep fighting about? These kinds of issues go deep and are about fundamental differences in values. Though if you stay on the surface, you never get to this realization. Instead, you may think your partner just can’t see eye to eye with you, that you are different people, you’ve “consciously outgrown” them.

Maybe this isn’t the right relationship for you, or maybe it is and this is a next level invitation to intimacy. Are you willing to take responsibility, learn to “fight better” and find out?

On today’s episode of Walk With Me, I’m sharing a powerful 5-step technique to help you reach the greatest potential for connection and intimacy with your partner. In short, I’m going to share how Brent and I have learned to fight really well!  

I’ll even share one of the gridlock problems we have faced in our relationship and how we use this technique to communicate with an open heart, even when we are resistant AF!

Listen to this week’s episode here:

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I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot recently — Brent and I just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary, and we’ve been together for 12 years total.

A lot of the time our partners are the core reason we experience success as a coach at all. When my students are considering my full-length life coaching program, Mentor Masterclass, women tell me, “It sounds amazing, but I need to talk to my husband/boyfriend/partner first.”

Then when women enroll in Mentor Masterclass, they dive deep into not only coaching and business tools, but into healing modalities and techniques to reach their full potential and face their fears to create the life they really want. They grow exponentially throughout our year together, becoming a much more empowered version of themselves…

And sometimes, these women complain their partners aren’t evolving at the same rate they are. It becomes a sticking point of frustration and other emotions. So where do we go from there?  

Listen to this week’s episode to learn a high level technique I use to help ambitious women grow more intimate relationships.

If we don’t address this challenge, this will limit the growth of their business. So I end up doing a deep dive into relationship coaching with my clients as a part of their life coach training.

On this week’s walk, we’ll talk about:

  • How my relationship with my husband Brent has impacted my business in so many ways — some are completely positive, and other issues require an open heart and devotion (I’ll reveal one of our gridlock relationship problems) (6:32).

  • Why some relationships just aren’t meant to end because they’re partnerships with people who are meant to be our teachers, or we’re meant to be theirs (8:15)

  • How the myth that a good relationship never has negativity or conflict brings so much dissatisfaction (9:45)

  • Why you should consider miscommunication the norm in relationships — and how you can treat it as a chance to share more about who you are, and teach your partner to love you better (16:50)

  • Two tough question you have to ask yourself: what percentage of the time you spend with your partner are you emotionally available? Now what’s the percentage of time you’re both emotionally available and available to listen? (I know, I know, yikes!) (19:00)

  • How to discern whether a specific conflicts is a solvable situational problem (like house cleaning or in-laws) vs. a perpetual problem that can produce gridlock (for example, fundamental personality differences or your lifestyle needs) (21:15)

  • Being in a committed relationship is really choosing the set of problems you both want to work with in this lifetime (23:30)

  • The limits of acceptance in relationships (29:30)

  • The 5-step technique to have better conflicts, work through negative situations with your partner, and shift it all into an invitation for more intimacy (30:20)

  • How to move into an open-hearted space (it starts with saying, “I felt…”) (31:00)

  • Why the biggest thing we all want is acceptance — and the dangers of replacing it with judgment (39:00)

  • The action step you need to take at the end of every conflict… what can you do to make it better next time? (40:30)

  • And so much more…

How is your relationship these days? How is it impacting your life and your business? I also have an idea I’m developing — would you and your partner want to participate in a relationship workshop with me next year? Let me know in the comments below, and we’ll make it happen!

All my love,

Jey

P.S. Are you feeling called to grow your business (and by extension, your relationships and your life) exponentially? It’s why I created my year-long coach training program, Mentor Masterclass. We’d love to have you in our global sisterhood as you discover the energy and clarity to launch your dream business on a foundation of ease, doing all the things that come most naturally to you. Mediocre ways of powering through and surviving on maintenance mode to achieve success are over. Come find out more — including how you can apply! — right here.

xoxo,

Jey
 

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